Pressure to Seem Perfect Can Strain Teen Relationships, But Kindness From Peers Can Help

Imagine Trying to Always Appear Perfect. You Stay on Top of the Latest Beauty Trends, Excel Academically and Project Confidence in Social Settings, Even When You’re Struggling or Feeling Completely Overwhelmed. You Work Hard to Hide Any Potential Flaws, Constantly Worrying That If You Stumble or Show Any Cracks in Your Armor, Everything Will Apart.

For many teens, the pressure to project a perfect persona feels necessary to fit in, avoid criticism and gain approval from their peers. It’s Easy to Think That Being Perfect Will Make You More Likable, BECAUSE Who WOULDN’T WANT TO BE AROUND SOMEONE WHY SEEMS TO HAVE IT All TOGETHER?

However, OUR NEW STUDY Reveals an Ironic Twist: The Very Effort to Appear Perfect May currently push Others Away. Instead, Positive Interactions with Peers May Help Teens Break Free from the Constant Need to Seem Perfect and Foster More Supportive Friendships.

With our research, we want to master light on the hidden costs of trying to maintain a flawless image and reveal how letting go of this pressure can pave the way for more authentic and supportive connections for teens.

SIGNS OF PERFECTIONISM

Perfectism Self-Presentation Refers to the Effort to Create and Maintain an Image of Perfection, Where People Go To Great Lengths To Ensure They Appear Perfect to Others. For teens, this often means showcating the polyed outdoor and suppressing signs of distress, vulnerability or imperfection.

Many teens who engage in perfectistic self-presentation also struggle with Feelings of insecurity. They may Believe They aren’t worthy of love or support, so they try to cream to flawless image in the hopes of insurance the acceptance they long for.

Research Identifies Some main aspects of perfectic self-presentation: self-promotion, where teens Highlight Their Achievements While DownPlaying Any Struggles; PERFECTIONISTIC NON-BISCLOSURE, WHERE THEY AVOID REVEALING ANY PERSONAL CHALLENGES; and perfectistic Non-Display, Where Teens Make a Concerted Effort to Refrain From Doing Anything That Might Be Judged as Imperfect by Others.

ACCORDING TO OUR RESEARCHParents, Teachers and Teens Should Be Aware of the Following Signs That May Indicate A Young Person is Struggling with the Pressure To Appear Perfect:

• Hiding Emotions: Suppressing Signs of Distress, Such AS Sadness, Anger or Frustration, Even When Expressing Them Wold Be Appropriate, Like When they experience, Loss or Setback.
• DIFFICULTY ACCEPTING COMPLIMES: Rejection Praise or Positive Feedback Because They Feel Like They have Fully Earned It or That Their Image Isn’t “Perfect” Enough.
• Unwillingness to ask for help: Shunning Reaching Out for Assistance or Support Because They Fear It Will Make Them Seem Imperfect or Incapable.
• Outward self-promotion: Frequently Discussing or Showcating Successes, Such As Awards, Honors or High Grades, to Reinforce Their Sense of Accomplishment.
• Effortlessness: DownPlaying the Effort Behind an Achievement, Making Any Success Appear Effortless.
• Avoiding Vulnerability: Avoiding Sharing Their Authentic Thoughts and Experiences with Friends Out of Worry That Showing Any Flaws or Struggles Will Lead to Rejection Or Judgment, Even IF Those Feelings Aren’t Necessary Negative.
• Risk Aversion: Steering Away From Tasks They Might Not Be Immedialy Good at and Seeking Excessive Reassury Or Guidance Before Even Starting, Fearing Failure Will Hurt Their Image.

OUR RECENT STUDY

In Our RECENT STUDYWe Asked 239 Teens Between The AGES OF 13 and 19 (72 Percent of Whom Were Female) To Complete the Series of Four Questionnaires, Spaced Approximately Seven Months Apart Between Octber 2017 and November 2021. Relational Victimization and Receipt of Pro-Social Acts.

We found that the more teens focused on appearing flawless, whether Through Constantly Showing Off Achievements or Hiding Their Real Feelings, The More They Experienced Relational Aggression, Like Gossip or Social Exclusion.

This supports the idea that perfectionism can lead to Social Disconnection. When teens prioritize the perfect image over Real Connections, it can Create to Barrier Between Them and Their Peers. AS A RESULT, THY MAY STRUGLE TO Form Meaningful Friendships, and MAY EVEN BUMPE TARGETS OF BULLYING BECAUSE THEIR PERFECTION PERFECTION MAY MAKE OHERS FEEL THREATENED OR DISCONNECED.

OUR STUDY ALSO Revealed that what you teens focus on Present an ideal image and hiding their real Selves, They Received Less Kindness and Support From Their Peers, Creating A Cycle That Only Inly Increated the Pressure to Keep Up The Perfect Image.

Over Time, This Can Lead To EMOTIONAL DISTRESSthe may increasingly question their self-worth and struggle with deepning feelings of loneline. The Absence of Meaningful Connections can also Limit Opportunities for Growth and Learning From Peers, Which Are crucial During Adolescence.

Positive Peer Interactions

The Good News From Our New Study is That Teens Who Received More Acts of Kindness and Support From Their Peers Felt Less of A Need to Hide Behind A Flawless Facade. This HighLights The Power of Kindness and Connection in Helping Teens Let Go of Perfect TENDENCIES.

Fostering Supportive, Authentic Friendships can be a crucial Step in Reducing the anxiet and isolation that coms with trying to appear perfect. POSITIVE, SUPPORTIVE INTERACTIONS WITH PERS CREATE THE FOUNDING FOR STRONG AND MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS, WHERE TEENS CAN FEEL FREE TO BE THEMSELVES, IMPERFECTIONS AND ALL. If you have a friend or relative who is struggling with the pressure to be perfect, here are the tower things you can try:

ENCOUNEGE THEM TO SHARE THEIR FEELINGS, EVEN WHEN THINGS AREN’T GOING WELL, AND ASSURE THEM IT’S OK TO SHOW VULNERABILITY IN FRIESHIPS. Remind Them That Real Friends Accept One Another’s Flaws, and That Perfect Friendships Don’t Exist; What Matters is Support, Understanding and Mutual Care.

Create an Environment where imperfections are celebrated and help them understand that matter and that they don’t have to be perfect to be love or valued. Be Open About Your Own Struggles and Show Each other that vulnerability is a Sign of Strength, not weakness.

The reality is that needing to kep up an image of perfection often keeps us from building the supprtive, Meaningful Relationships We Need. By Letting Go of the Need to Appear Flawless and Embracing Imperfections, We Open The Door To More Genuine Relationships Where We Can Receive the Care and Understanding We Deserve.

This article is republished from The Conversation Under Creative Commons License. Read the Original Article.